Sound Speech: Being a Woman Speaking with Grace
Being a Woman Speaking with Grace
31 Days of Women from Scripture
Day Twenty-Eight: Being a Woman Speaking with Grace
Of the woman in Proverbs 31, it is said, “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26).
The words we use can have a great impact.
“Who sharpen their tongue like a sword, and bend their bows to shoot their arrows – bitter words” (Psalm 64:3).
“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” (Prov. 16:24).
How we use our words is a choice we each make every day.
The tongue is described as a small thing that causes great destruction when not employed with discretion (James 3:5-18). In Matthew 15:11-18 we find that what we say is a direct reflection of our heart and what we feed our mind.
In your relationships, what is the effect of your words? Does your choice of books, TV programs, or music show through the words you speak? God says they will. Our speech will show us for who we really are inside.
It takes so little to speak a lie. Satan added one word to God’s law for Adam and Eve. One word (Gen. 3:1-4). By adding the word “not” he deceived Eve. Having committed the sin of murder, lying came easily to Cain when God asked about Abel (Gen. 4:9).
Thinking our intentions are good, we may say something we shouldn’t. Ananias and Sapphira wanted to help the brethren. They wanted to give something to the effort. They sacrificed a piece of property to do so. But then the father of lies (Jn. 8:44) made them think that saying they were giving all while keeping back some for themselves was good enough. God said it wasn’t (Acts 5:1-11).
Proverbs 10:18-21 teaches us a lot about controlling our speech:
- Hiding hatred is lying
- Spreading slander about someone is foolish
- Talking a lot makes opportunity for transgression
- Being quiet is wise
- The value of words from the righteous person is like choice silver
- The value of the heart (thoughts) of the wicked person is little.
- Righteous words are a benefit to many while fools die for lack of understanding.
So many things to think about! Each of those could be a meditation of its own for a day.
It can be so easy to get into trouble by talking. Women tend to like to get together to chat. They like to plan playdates for their kids, so they can spend time talking with other moms. It’s so natural. Yet, this very thing can get us into trouble.
In 1 Timothy 5:13-14 Paul gives Timothy instructions for young widows. He says that some “learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.” Without husbands and households to care for these women were giving opportunities for enemies of the Lord to condemn Christians and some had even turned away from God. Paul’s answer to the problem – stay busy. Young widows need to get married, have children, and keep house – all so they no longer have the opportunities to get into trouble.
So often we want to take care of our chores so that we can get to those lunch dates and playdates with our friends. We may even neglect our chores so that we can go do those things. Ladies, it is not a bad thing to be busy! Being busy doing the work that is yours to do keeps you from tripping into Satan’s grip.
If you want to spend time with other women, try doing so by organizing an event where you all can get done the things that are yours to do. How about a time together cooking meals to take to elderly or ill in your congregation? Start that time with prayer. Set a schedule and get the work done. Don’t sit and talk so much that no one gets their needs met and you get into trouble by gossiping.
We have examples of women meeting for prayer (Acts 16:13) and having people into their homes for prayer (Acts 12:12). This is an excellent way to spend your time together communicating!
When you do need downtime and want to relax, then do so. But do not stop being vigilant! Remember Proverbs 26:20, “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.”
Words are powerful. We must be careful with them. Words reveal the hidden person of the heart – whether righteous or not. Choose your words carefully. Speak to others the way you would like to be spoken to (Mt. 7:12).
“For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another” (Gal. 5:14-15).
Here are some quick benefits of sound words:
- Declare righteousness, promote health, and are established forever (Prov. 12:17-19)
- Turn away wrath (Prov. 15:1)
- A tree of life (Prov. 15:4)
Wouldn’t you like those to be the things people attribute to you when you speak!
Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”
The best guidebook in the world teaches how to get control of our tongue so that we are women speaking with grace.
Confession and prayer are what is needed when we have been out of control (James 5:16).
Filling our minds with good, beneficial things will train our hearts to repeat those same things when we speak (Phil. 4:8).
Diligently seek to be using words to benefit others rather than yourself (Rom. 14:19 and 1 Thess. 5:11).
Paul said he had given Timothy a “pattern of sound words” (2 Tim. 1:13). We would do well to hold to the same ourselves.
Click here to get a complimentary lesson from our “31 Days of Women from Scripture Volume 2”, “Reach Out. Lessons from the Woman with an issue of blood”.
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If you are interested in the first 31 Days of Women series – click here – 31 Days of Women from Scripture